puddlescript

I should write...I know I should write. But I can’t seem to bring myself to do it today. I’ve wasted the past 3 hours doing nothing. Nothing. Reading a book I’ve already read, researching the sordid details of the lives of door to door magazine sales people. Drinking tea. Wishing I had that dragon shaped teapot that I found online. Wishing I could drink wine. Wishing my head didn’t hurt. Debating if I should take something for said headache. Wondering if I should just give it up and go to sleep...yawn.

Darrin took the kids to his brother’s house where their mom is today. They’re having a little
barbeque for her and I got out of going. Yay! After all, she’s not my mom, right? We spent all morning with his step mom, which was enough in-law time for me. So I’ve had the past several hours to myself. I feel a bit guilty, because I feel like I should have gone to see my mom, but it got so late and she lives so far away and I really couldn’t resist an afternoon alone. Besides, I’ll see her tomorrow. So, that’s ok, right? I’m not to terrible of a daughter, am I? She did make me feel a little guilty, but I do see her all the time and being broke and gas costing what it does, I really don’t have the money to drive out there for a few hours and then drive all the way home. I need to make a day out of it when I go over there. Yeah, I know. I’m making excuses.

I think I need to get up and find something for this headache. And feed the dog. Ok, fed the dog, took something and poured myself a glass of V8 which should cancel out the bowl of mint
chocolate chip ice cream I had for dinner.

And if my eyes didn’t deceive me, I think I saw emmanate last night on Channel 9 News at the Denver Hearse Convention. It was a brief flash, but I’m 89% sure it was her...

And a Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there. I hope everyone was given the
appreciation they deserved!

 

Delaney skipped her nap (again) today and so fell asleep at 6:30pm and Nick is otherwise occupied. So, I eagerly open my novel in progress, anxious to work on it. It’s been several weeks since I’ve even looked at it and an evening without interruptions lay before me. I place my hands above the keyboard...and stare. And stare some more. Nothing. I re-read the last few pages I’ve written, hoping to spark something. My mind remains blank. Having read somewhere that every time Hemingway would sit down to write, he would rewrite the last page he had written to get himself back on track, I contemplate doing that. But I can’t even seem to pull that off. What I try and write is so much worse than what I had that I give up before I can ruin anymore of it. I try typing, just typing words hoping to find the elusive muse. Then thankfully the dog needed out. Then Nick needed help. Then I realize that LJ is in desperate need of an update...

Why is this so painful tonight? Why is this so freakin’ difficult? They’re just words, letters from the alphabet all strung together to make pretty sounds. So why is it so hard to make them make sense? I know thousands and thousands of them, so why can’t I seem to remember any of them?

 

I give up. I surrender. When my muse starts to insult me, I reckon it’s time to put it away for awhile.

Why can’t I be inflicted with a less stressful, mentally anguishing passion? Like car repair...or crochet...or piloting a fighter jet?

"Please do not put your toast in your pants."

 

I actually said that this morning. 

And like usual, my good advice went unheeded.

 

 

 

Today has been...well. Gray. In every sense of the word. The wind is blowing about 50 miles an hour and I keep checking the Robin’s nest in the tree out front to make sure it hasn’t blown out...yesterday it rained and was a good day to bake cookies. So I did. Chocolate chip. I also made Naan and chicken curry. Yum. It’s one of my favorite things that I make, it’s just so time consuming, especially when I make it with the Naan. But so worth it. But I spent about 4 hours standing in the kitchen yesterday and sometimes I forget I’m pregnant. My back hurt so bad last night I could barely stand up and I can still feel it today. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like doing anything. Even pulling together something for lunch for the kids seemed like a Herculean task. I would like nothing more than to lie down and sleep. But I can’t get the kids to cooperate. It’s now after three and neither of them have taken a nap. Nick will be ok, he’s kind of phasing out naps anyway, but Delaney is a little trickier. If she falls asleep now, it will be impossible to get her to bed at a reasonable hour so I have to keep her awake until at least 7:00 so her routine isn’t too messed up and she decides to wake up at 4:00am. So, she’ll probably be really pleasant this evening...

Nick’s last soccer game is tomorrow, if the weather cooperates. Last Saturday it was postponed. Something about snow and 50 mph winds... I’ll be glad when it’s done. I really don’t think he likes it all that well. He wants to go, but then when we are there, he doesn’t really want to play. He runs around the teams as they play, very carefully keeping his distance from the ball. He isn’t very aggressive, which I understand. I never was very good at those "steal the ball from other players" kind of games. I think he might like T-ball better, but that doesn’t start until they’re 5. I don’t want to be one of those parents that push their kids into every extra curricular activity in existence, but Nick has so much energy and I would like to find one sport that he really likes and give him the opportunity to burn some of that energy in someplace aside from my living room...He’s like a tornado when he’s home. Right now, I’m trying to give him "quiet time" and he’s watching a Power Ranger movie, which I admit is probably not the most relaxing of selections. It is also painfully hard to watch if you are over the age of 7. If it weren’t for Jason David Frank, it would be impossible... (and I think that's only because he reminds me of someone I used to know.)

Anyway...until we meet again...

 

After a brief hiatus, I am back on line...at least temporarily. I’m sure I was greatly missed. But have no fear...I am here to bring you up to date with the exciting day by day going ons of my life. Quite frankly, you haven’t missed anything (and the apostrophe key on my keyboard isn’t working which is extremely annoying. I have to practically jump up and down on it to make it work).

Let’s see...I am 26 weeks pregnant today. And since the last two times I gave birth 2 weeks before my due date, I figure I have about 12 more weeks. Which really doesn’t seem like very long. Wow. I have about a million thing to do before then. I still need to track down a crib( and then make room for one), since I’m not ready to move Delaney to a big bed just yet. I’m thinking the baby will live in Delaney’s room for awhile before I move him to Nick’s room. I still need to paint Nick’s room...monster trucks and dinosaurs. Still not sure how I’m going to pull that off.

 

Today was my granny’s 86^th birthday. We had a little party for her at the grocery store one of my mom’s friends owns. (Sounds strange, but the store has a little sitting area with tables and chairs so we weren’t standing in the aisles eating cake...) I made her a lemon/strawberry cake that turned out pretty darn good considering I put it together in a hurry this morning before I left. After her party, she wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we wandered around there for awhile. And I think it was the first time in my life that I left there without buying so much as a pencil. I guess your spending habits change a bit when you’re moneyless... Then we had dinner at Red Lobster, where I learned that Nick is a bit afraid of the lobsters in the front tank. He stayed about 3 feet away from them at all times, while talking a hundred miles an hour about the one trying to climb out and the one in the corner and the one...you get the idea. It was a long day for me, I’m exhausted, but granny was still going. I can only hope that I’m as spry and as with it as she is when I am that age. She’s mentioned that she feels the same as she did when she was 20, it’s just her body that’s not cooperating. When you think about it, that’s kind of depressing. 

  Darrin is now in Indianapolis for a Fire Chief class and conference....for an entire week. He left Sunday and Nick became really upset because he doesn't think he will ever see him again. We explained that he will be back in a week, but it still makes me nervous. Then Sunday night I got on the news website and one of the lead stories is about a plane leaving Colorado that crashes in Kentucky. While Kentucky isn't exactly on the way to Indiana, it's close enough that is scared me. And until I read the article, I panicked. I'll be glad when he's home. 

I was a little upset over the fact that he went in the first place, even though I know he really had to and the department is paying for it. But what I wouldn't give for an entire week, away from everyone, doing something I  like to do. I've told him that this means that I get to go to the writer's retreat they have  in Maui every fall. That's fair, right?

I spent most of yesterday on the phone trying to convince our utility, phone, water, etc, companies to not shut us off, that I'll make a payment as soon as we get a check. But I have no idea when that will be and it won't be enough to catch us up anyway. So, I might be losing my Internet connection in a few days. Our TV is going off in a couple of days, which I won't really miss but it is nice to be able to turn on Playhouse Disney when Nick won't take a nap but needs some down time. But I guess I can always use a movie...the house and car payments are what are really bothering me. I've been looking at the want ads, to see if there is anything I can do. And there really isn't. I couldn't afford child care. I would literally be working to pay for daycare, which aside from the fact that I really don't want someone else to raise my kids, defeats the purpose of getting a job. I wish I had some kind of marketable skill. I'm still enrolled in that Medical Transcriptionist class, but can't seem to finish that. I've been thinking of other things that I can do...I hear phone sex pays well.

This weekend Delaney fell down the (two) stairs into our family room and gave herself a black eye. It looks terrible. And painful. I felt like an awful parent...she goes up and down those stairs a hundred times a day without a problem. I'm not sure what happened or what she hit her face on. The wood floor, I guess.  She hurts herself so much more that NIck ever did. I don't know it she's just more klutzier or more adventurous. A little of both, maybe.

This weekend was also Nick's first soccer game...

 

Alright, I’m extremely annoyed. I get a letter last night (our mail doesn’t come until about 6-7 at night sometimes, which is annoying in itself) from our Home Owners Association. It is a Covenant Violation Warning. But the spot where the violation is supposed to be written in, is left blank. It just tells us we have 30 days to remedy this unknown problem before we’re fined. So, I call to find out what exactly we are doing to breach the covenants and no one answers the phone. I hate the Home Owners Association. I’m already mad because we were late paying our fees, so instead of working with you, they turn you over to a lawyer...Argh.

Yesterday, I went to the Clerk and Recorder to get plates on our truck trailer and because I work at the bank that the loan was through, the loan officer just gave me all the titles and documents to take with me. After about an hour at the county office, they suddenly decided that the paperwork is wrong and they are unable to process it...so, I drive 20 minutes back into town, back to the bank and the bank fixes whatever needed to be fixed. Then I go back this morning to get the plates...and their computers are down and were unable to do anything. So it looks like I get to go back again. Yipee! I love driving around, wasting gas and time!

A dear, dear friend of mine, whom I regret to say I neglect, (I’m sooo sorry, by the way. I still love you... you should join livejournal... :) ) introduced me to www.goodreads.com . I've often thought I wanted to keep track of the books I’ve read, which ones were good, which ones deserved to be thrown in the fireplace, and this is the perfect site. You’re able to read reviews other people had written and I’ve already discovered a few books I’ve never heard of that I really want to read. I’ve only entered a few books so far, but plan on keeping better track. So, come by and be my friend... because I’m easily confused, I'm puddlescript over there, too.

And I wanted to thank everyone who emailed me or commented with sympathy for my cat. It really meant a lot. Thanks again.

I really need to work on my writing. It’s been several weeks since I’ve even looked at it. I just don’t seem to have the necessary focus. Or motivation, or desire. I just...don’t care. And that’s a terrible attitude. I actually feel better when I am writing, I’m more positive and less neurotic and I imagine, easier to get along with. But I think it comes down to a focus thing...it’s the same reason I can’t compose an email, of which I owe several to several people. I’m too scattered. I actually have the time right now, which is my usual excuse, lack of time. Delaney skipped her nap today and so fell asleep early. Nick is playing Go Diego Go! on the other computer and Darrin is working. I have all the time I could possibly need but do you think I’m going to work on any of the above mentioned things? No. I am not. I’m going to update this because it is a wonderful way to avoid doing the things I should.

And I have a cold and I feel terrible. And I couldn’t sleep last night, so I’m really tired. Which I suppose could account for the awful mood I’m in. As well as for all the whining. Well, maybe not. I guess I whine whether or not I’m sleep deprived....

Well, I finally called the vet and since she accepts post dated checks, (since that money thing still seems to be a myth) I scheduled her to come tomorrow to put Pansy to sleep. I kept crying on the phone to her, but she was very patient and very nice, but this still isn’t going to be easy. I’m making my mom come over so she’s here with me when the vet comes. And Pansy is getting tuna and milk for dinner...poor girl.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow. Maybe I can just sleep through it.

BOY!

And Nick's naming suggestion? Ninja Storm. 

The never ending weekend that finally ended.

Saturday I dragged the kids to my cousin’s (second) wedding. He opted to divorce the wicked witch of all four directions and he married the girl he took to Prom back in high school. That seems to happen a lot...

The ceremony...before it even began I had an argument with my grandma who wanted me to sit in the front row with her. I said I needed to be by the door in case it became necessary to make a quick escape with one or both children. Oh, they’ll be fine, she insisted. No. I promise.They won’t. So I sat by the door and 30 seconds into the ceremony I found myself standing by the door trying to control a wiggly 18 month old who really would have liked to walk up the aisle with the cute little girls throwing petals. When the flower girls were done, Nick stood up on his seat and clapped. Then the bride headed down the aisle and Nick started to yell and cry when everyone stood up because he couldn’t see. So. We went outside. And stood in the wind and watched Nick roll down the hill in his dress clothes. Then fortunately, my brother and Lisa showed up and they are always so much help with the kids. They stole them from me and I could actually sit and eat my cupcake in peace.

After the wedding we went to my favorite Mexican food restaurant in the world, Efrain’s, and I had a chicken supreme enchilada. With a side of sour cream. Yum.

That night, we colored eggs and then Nick would not go to sleep. It’s 11:00pm and I can barely keep my eyes open and Nick is still bouncing in his bed. So, Darrin goes in to his room to keep him occupied and I sneak down stairs to hide Easter eggs in the dark. Trickier than you would think.

Easter morning...Nick and Delaney found all the eggs and their Easter baskets (Delaney’s had a baby and Nick’s had Transformers, his new obsession) then we had to hurry to the farm, where my in-laws hid another 135 plastic eggs, full of candy and money. Nick, being the oldest one there, raced ahead hurrying to get all of them, so we had to divide the baskets so it was a bit more fair... we had hot dogs and hamburgers at their house then headed to my parent’s house for Easter dinner. I raced home to make deviled eggs, and Nick had a fit when he discovered that I intended on using his eggs, so I had to boil some more. Meanwhile, Delaney kept crawling up on the table to eat candy and Nick hide a stash under the table in the living room, so I had to find a better hiding place. I just stuck it with the leftover candy from last Easter (honestly-I still have several chocolate rabbits older than Delaney), Halloween and Christmas...I suppose I could just throw it away, but I have a problem throwing away candy. What if I need it?? What if the power goes out and I can’t use to stove and all the canned food is gone? We’d have to survive on the chocolate rabbits (protein) and skittles ( for the fruit).

It was a long, exhausting weekend for the kids and they both fell asleep early last night. Which meant I also was able to...

I have my ultra sound in a few hours...Darrin is convinced it’s a boy and my mom thinks it’s a girl. I still don’t have any feeling either way. So much for "mother’s intuition". I’m anxious to find out. Let’s hope the baby cooperates!

Easter pictures to follow...

 

Can’t think, can’t type. Tried to read this afternoon when Delaney actually took a nap, on my lap, so I couldn’t do anything constructive, but I couldn’t focus on the page or the words. It just didn’t make any sense. Tried to write an email to a friend and kept typing the same words and forgetting where I was going with what I actually did manage to get down. Hopefully, this passes. Soon.

I am going to have to put my cat to sleep. I don’t want to, I feel so terrible about it. I feel like I’m betraying her somehow, but she is getting worse and can barely get around. I doubt that it’s arthritis. I’ve stepped on her tail and she didn’t even notice. I think something is numb and I think her system is shutting down. I have the number for an at-home vet who specializes in euthanizations. I just can’t bring myself to call.

Our trucking company has not had work all month which means no money. And an employee to pay, workmans comp to pay, taxes to pay, truck insurance to pay...not to mention the personal bills. This is a big problem. Big, big problem. If I ignore it, it will go away. Right?

But it’s ok...the sun will come out tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s only a day away.

 

3 years ago this week, a jogger found my grandpa’s car in a Minnesota cemetery. He was inside with a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head.

I think about him everyday.

Here’s the story I wrote right after it happened. I know many of you have read it before but I’m posting it again...just because.

 

 

It actually got up to 55 degrees today, yay! So we evacuated the house and walked (well, I walked, pushing the stroller and Nick riding his tricycle) to the park. It was so nice to be able to get outside for awhile. I’m getting so tired of being inside all the time. I’m so looking forward to spring. It can’t come quick enough... At the park there was a nasty little child, who Nick (of course) decided to play with. He was a couple years older than Nick and was just a beast. He spit on Delaney (while he grandma obliviously sat on the bench reading her book), kept taking food out of my stroller, wanted to drink my water and was climbing on the outside of the tunnel slide, trying to coax Nick up with him. I was so proud of Nick, he said "no, I’m not supposed to," and kept playing what he was playing. And he continued to refuse every time the kid wanted him to do something that Nick knew he wasn’t supposed to. I was good to see Nick standing up for himself and not already giving in to peer pressure...I’m sure that day will come, but it was nice to see that right now at least, he listens to his mommy. : ) Some woman walking her dogs even came up to me wondering if the little boy was mine, because he ran up to her (not so friendly) dogs and she was complaining about it. Nope. Not mine. He belongs to the lump on the bench. The grandma's response? "Oh, he likes dogs." Finally, his grandma says it’s time to go and he says no. So she leaves. 20 minutes later and the brat is still following me around, his grandma long gone. Nick kept telling him "Your mom went home. You should go home." Finally, finally he left and Nick goes "I hope that boy doesn’t get lost." Yeah. 

 

 

I took Nick to a Nutritionist yesterday, having completely given up on doctors. I held out my arm, she pushed on it while touching his energy points and when he was in need of something my arm would go down. It was very bizarre and I have no idea how it worked, but I’m willing to try her suggestions. She did her evaluation before she asked what the problems were and it was amazing how accurate she was. She thinks he might have a yeast infection, caused by all the antibiotics he was given in the hospital, and the symptoms of a child’s yeast infection are surprisingly similar to Nick’s. They include digestive problems, recurrent headaches, behavior changes, lack of attention span...all the things that he’s been dealing with. Along with a few other things she suggested, involving his immune system and brain chemistry. So, I bought the supplements and started them yesterday evening. The tricky part is getting him to take them without tasting them. I’ve been smashing them up and putting them in Pediasure. Although last night he wanted to know if I "gave him the wrong Pediasure" and wouldn’t drink the rest of it. So I might have to resort to putting them in ice cream or something I know he will eat without paying too much attention. Although I’m supposed to keep him away from sugar, so maybe that’s not a good idea. I’ll have to think of something. I really feel good about her and her suggestions and more reassured then I have after talking to any of the doctors he’s seen. We will see what happens. She also gave me a recommended diet based on blood type. It’s pretty severe and limits...well just about everything. Not sure if I could pull that off, or how possible that would be in a family of more than one blood type. Making several different meals a day isn’t exactly what I want to do. I feel like I do that anyway, in my desperate search to find food Nick will eat. But maybe I could find a happy medium somewhere in the middle. Although I’m pretty sure Darrin isn’t willing to give up meat. Pity. I hate cooking it.

 

Well, my mom is having her sex toy party tonight with all her friends... I wasn’t invited. That’s ok...the last one I went to I won a penis shaped tube of lipstick for sculpting the best penis out of playdough. Surely, my proudest moment... and since I’m now an experienced penis sculptor I would have the obvious advantage over my mom’s friends and I wouldn’t want to steal anyone else’s glory. And besides...my mom and I may have an very open relationship but not even I would feel quite comfortable in a room with her and all of her 60+ year old friends passing around vibrators and sex swings. There are some visuals that I just don’t need.

And on that note...

I’m in a rather good mood this morning, after reading all the nice comments that <lj user="a_touch_of_gray"> had to say about some of recent writing...so, thanks! It always motivates me to write more. All of his suggestions are so helpful and instead of being discouraging, they tend to encourage me instead. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so excited about my writing. I actually feel like it is possible for me to finish something that might actually be readable.

So...Valentine’s Day. I’ve never liked it. What a stupid day. Even though I know it’s a bunch of crap, I always secretly look forward to it, like I do weekends, hoping that somehow it will be better than the rest of the week, hoping my husband might be home, maybe we will do something, but in all actuality it’s exactly like the rest of the week. It’s just me and the kids, doing laundry, cleaning house, making breakfast, lunch, dinner, trying to restrain Nick from throwing things and then trying to decided how to react after he does, trying to get him to eat, cleaning up after my ancient, sick cat and trying to keep the other cats from picking on her, worrying about finding time to update Quickbooks (which hasn’t been done since June...groan) so we can get our taxes to our accountant...you know, the normal stuff. Although I did make a Valentine’s cake yesterday. It looks terrible. I experimented with the frosting and all my decorations collapsed. At least it tasted good. And thankfully, Delaney has been pretty easy lately. She has a new baby that she likes to undress and push around in a mini stroller. "Baby" is her favorite word. She also learned "cookie" the other day. And believe it or not...she says "pterodactyl". Although it’s more like "da dact dal". She has a huge vocabulary for a 17 month old, I think. At least compared to what Nick had at this age. She talks all the time, knows all the animal sounds and can "moo", "meow", "woof"...etc. She buzzes like a bee, hisses like a snake, quacks like a duck... She’s brilliant. :)

Oh great. Nick just stole Laney’s baby and pushed her over. Lovely. And so it begins again... 

Ya know, just for the record, I’m actually not as miserable as I may come across... I'm actually quite lucky, really. I just like to complain now and then. 

I just read that your grandfather passed away and I wanted both of you to know how sorry I am. 

I am thinking of you and  your family...

 Ended up taking Nick back to the doctor for yet more blood tests. He is constantly sick and even his attitude and the way he deals with life, has changed drastically. Suddenly, the little boy who could fall down the stairs and not cry, now breaks down and dissolves into tears if he bumps his knee on the carpet. It's hysterics when his favorite show on tv ends. Even his teacher pulled me aside to tell me that Nick hasn't been himself, doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want to do the projects or any of the work and has frequent "melt downs". Yesterday morning Nick was screaming and crying about how he didn't want to go to school, he wants to stay home, he "wants me". I finally got him to school (once there, he ran upstairs to class with his friend as excited as he always is). So, I talked to one of his teachers for awhile, to see if anything unusual has happened at school. While talking to her, she mentioned that Nickolas talks about the new baby a lot.

And at the doctor, (I went to a different one, for a different opinion) after all his blood tests came back normal, she thought that all his symptoms could be pointing to stress.

I'm starting to see a connection here.

Although the concept of the "new baby" doesn't seem to be bothering him and he actually seems excited about it, on some level it must be affecting him to the point of being sick. He's been internalizing it to the point of throwing up. Having felt that anxiety myself, I understand why he doesn't eat. I can't tell you how bad that makes me feel. But I really think that is what is going on. The timing is right and when I think back, it makes sense. At least I feel like I have a place to start, instead of just being in the dark. The food allergy idea didn't seem to be it, especially when he wouldn't eat anything but an apple and two chunks of tuna and still get sick. Somehow, I'm going to have to figure out a way to focus solely on Nick for awhile, to hopefully help reassure him. He keeps talking about how he wants to paint his room and redecorate it-sometimes he wants dinosaurs, sometimes monster trucks. Maybe I can start there. Maybe I can get my mom to take Delaney for a day and Nick and I could go somewhere special. I really don't know what else to do. I figure that's a good place to start.

And in other news...my good friend (and the mother of Nick's "girlfriend" ) informed me that her husband, who plays arena football, was scouted by the NFL and has been invited to the coming tryouts for the Houston team. So...if he makes it, they would move. To Texas. And that sucks.  

Anyway. ..

"Mama?"
"Yeah Nick?"
"I have a big problem."
"What's wrong?"
"My penis is getting really big!"
"Yeah, well sometimes that will happen. It's ok, it's normal."
Pause.
"Oh. Well, it's soooo terrible."

 

Last night, Darrin’s best friend, Aaron, the one who has been in the hospital for a year, called. It had been several months since we had last visited, but when we did, he couldn’t talk, or walk. But now, he’s talking, walking and even working a few hours a week. For those who are interested in reading the whole story...

http://puddlescript.livejournal.com/3131.html

 He’s living in a rehab house with some other people and he hopes to come home this weekend. It’s amazing that he’s come so far. We thought he was going to die. But he managed to pull through. It isn’t going to be easy for him. I really feel bad. His wife has skipped out on him and she won’t return his calls, answer his letters and it’s been months since she has visited. I know last time we saw her, she was getting awfully close to another one of his friends, but I guess I hoped she would stick through it and stay with him. I guess it was too much for her. I’m just surprised she didn’t have the decency to face him. I liked her. And then, his ex wife’s new husband "adopted" Aaron’s children and changed their last names. I wouldn’t think you could legally do that while their real father lay incapacitated in the hospital. They have been forbidden to talk to him and they never once were allowed to visit him while he was in the hospital, even when we thought he was going to die. So, he has lost his wife and his daughters and any semblance of the life he once had. He also doesn’t have much of a memory. He recalls people from high school and people that were exceptionally close to him, but that’s all. He was one Darrin's bestmen in our wedding, yet he didn’t know Darrin was married. He doesn’t remember me, or our children and he thought Darrin still lived out at the farm, even though he had been to our house here several times. He has such a long way to go, but I’m glad he’s alive. I hope this is enough to sober him up. Although, ironically, he has more reason to drink than he ever did before.